X-ing a sandwich

Our friend Alex was coming over to practice guitar with Mr. M. So Mr. M and I decided to go out for sandwiches before he came over. Unbeknownst to me, the plan was to buy a sandwich for Alex. Mr. M and I ate our sandwiches, and put all the leftover trash in a bag after we were done. He handed me a bag, with instructions to "take care of this." Keep in mind that I didn't know we had ordered a sandwich for Alex. I thought he had handed me the bag of trash. So to anyone (including me) who's ever seen a mafia movie, "to take care of someone" means to rub them out, X them, turn them into fish food, nix them-basically to kill or get rid of them. So how could Mr. M not realize that I was doing just what he asked me to when I threw away Alex's sandwich?

A cyber-confession

My husband and I made our occasional trip to the local Costco, an indoor shopping wherehouse for members. These trips almost always include picking up printed pictures, and finding a comfy display couch to look at them. We schedule the trips around dinnertime, so that we can enjoy the Costco cuisine sitting in a shaded patio table. As we carry our pizza and hot dogs, we scan the eating area for a "shaded" table. The importance we place on finding a table with an umbrella inside the indoor seating area always makes us giggle-so maybe that makes us weird-or maybe it makes us really fun to hang out with.
I did break my own rule, and bought a book despite having a number of unread books just waiting for me to read them. But I needed this book, both for my collection and for my social persona. You see, I collect books by comedians in the hope that I, too, might someday be funny-so I couldn't not buy a book by Bob Newhart. I realize it is a lot of pressure for these comedic writers, but I count on the reading of their books to make me funny and interesting.

The Books I Read

I am currently reading 700 Sundays by Billy Crystal. It's a book about his family. I also have The Valley of Vision, a book of Puritan prayers and devotions on my little table. As my husband and I read the Daily Bible, I read our New Testament passage ahead of time, in my little Nuevo Testamento. I am awaiting the arrival of The Secret to Christian Contentment by Burroughs. I have Our Mutual Friend by Dickens waiting in the "bull pen" for its turn to be read, along with Gracias a Winn-Dixie.
As I pursue diligently a greater grasp on the Spanish language (and French, too), I am writing regularly in my journal in Spanish, and watching the Spanish news, which is interesting because I have never watched the English news. So, the only news items I know, I know in Spanish.

My colorful jail cell

There are times when I feel I'm living in a jail cell; those days that turn into weeks when I'm sick, and can't go outside. However, from the many documentaries I watch about life in prison, I know this is far from true. I can see the sky and the sunlight out of clear windows; I can freely talk on the phone with friends and family at any time; I can see and visit with my husband every day; I can get private mail that is not censored previous to my reading it; I can read any of the books that I have; I can keep as many photo albums as I like to remind me of the many good times I've had; and even at the worst, I have a soft and comfortable couch to lay on. How often do we take for granted those things that are special priveledges for prison inmates, and must be earned through hard labor and good behavior?

I could be 18!!

Today I decided to go to one of my favorite hangs to chill out, max, just kick back-The Master's College. I had a book with me and pretended/tried to read; mostly, though, I was too distracted-pleasantly and purposely distracted-by the college kids. That's what I really went for-to people watch. To see what there was to see and hear what there was to hear. As I sat holding my book up, I remembered a favorite line from the TV series "Friends", where Joey is going to audition for the part of an 18-year-old. He pulls his pants low and his boxers high, to prove that he is in touch with the younger generation, and can play an 18-year-old. He attempts to make further proof that he can give the appearance of youth by repeatedly saying, "Yo, dawg.", and describing things as "whack." This is my feeling when I go to The College (which I frequently do, to hike, to eat, to shop, to read, to pray, and also to go for a walk). I never had the full college experience (just a couple of years at jr. college), so this is how I get to (pretend to) be 18 again.

Otra fiesta

Tonight, we are having another little party here at the M house, so I, Rufus the dog, washed my face and carefully combed my voluminous hair. I looked so sharp that JM gave me a treat to eat. However, seeing as how I prefer to hide my treats rather than to eat them, she will find it the next time she decides to do a thorough cleaning of the house. Based on recent history, I'd say it would be safe to say she'll find the half-eaten treat in some remote corner of the house, guarded by a spider's web. If I heard correctly, we'll be watching "Hoodwinked", which we own, and which I have learned a lot from, particularly to always be prepared, to not trust ANY forest animal, and to never share my cookie recipes.

TRESIMORTES

Arrange the letters how you like, that is my full last name, and I have made over 200 words using those letters. If you can add any new ones to my collection, I will be impressed. If you can guess my last name, I will be doubly impressed . . . unless you know me, then I'll just know you are a cheater. In my short stint as a bilingual teacher's aide, this was the assignment for the Spanish-speaking kids-to make words from my last name.
If you do guess my last name-again, doubly impressed-please keep it to yourself so I can retain some measure of anonymity.
The words can be in Spanish or English. I keep two lists. It sometimes keeps me up at night.

Diez mentiras (10 lies)

I have brown eyes.
I don't like to read.
I'm not ticklish.
Last night when I went to visit my sister at my parents' house near the beach, we all decided to go kayaking despite the cold. My dad, my husband, and my brother-in-law got into one kayak, my bro-in-law sitting at the very front of the boat with his legs hanging in the water. My sister and I laughed and laughed as we watched the boys boat sink. They did all they could to stay dry, but to no avail. People living around the marina were yelling at me and my sister for laughing so much and disturbing the peace. The drenched men went and waited for us girls in the car. My sister and I were happily paddling along when we noticed a harbor seal following us. We weren't sure if it was an attacking harbor seal, and we panicked and made such a commotion, that our kayak tipped over, and we had to swim to shore. We got all the kayaks and gear back into the car, and we drove back to the house, where my mother had wisely stayed. Upon seeing us, she first started a pot of tea, and then brought us towels. We sat inside and sipped our hot tea. My mom can handle any world crisis as long as she has tea.
I'm a snob.
I dress very fashionably.
I sleep on a regular mattress.
I use a top sheet.
I have purple hair.
This is a very intellectually challenging post.