Happy New Year!

Another year of life, and I find myself thinking about death. I've been reading a book about Christians who died for their faith. I think it is called Jesus Freaks. (It is in Spanish, so I'm not sure of every word.) Naturally, I wonder as I read if I would die a martyr's death, or if I would deny my Lord. I tend to think that I would choose death, not because it is the noble and right choice to make in such circumstances, but I would be too afraid to live after making such a denial of the One who died for me. Such ingratitude I could not live with. Life could hold no pleasure for me after such a show of cowardice on my part.

I made the mistake of writing the above several days ago, and I now find myself second-guessing my own writing, and wondering if that might not be better left unpublished. It's just like grade school; I never wrote a rough draft unless it was required, and if one was required, I'd make few changes in the final draft. It is not that I am a faineant; I just like to let my unrefined thoughts free to roam the earth. My thoughts are only apropos to this zeitgeist, so I feel it is appropriate to unfetter them as quickly as possible, post-haste. It seems more profitable, pleasurable and honest to just write down my initial thoughts once and then send them out into the world, raw and untouched. That may sound prideful, and so it may be. I still think it is the most honest way to share your thoughts.

I was planning on waiting 'til the weekend to publish this, but I thought it would be nice to give you something to read during the rains.

Resolutions, our new camera, and an interrupting cow

I've thought and deliberated, reflected and contemplated, and now I have formulated some resolutions. I know everyone posts their resolutions, so I won't post mine, but I did make some, just so you know.

Alright, alright, I'll post one: to be the kind of friend that my friends are.

We have a new camera in our family, and I have been busy trying to learn how to use it. Being alone at home with nothing to do has helped. I've done a lot of experimenting; hence all the pictures of Rufus, my shoes, and various items lying around the house, with different tints and taken from different angles. As soon as I get the needed technology to get the pictures onto the computer, I will be adding them to my Flickr page.


person 1: Knock, knock.
person 2: Who's there?
1: Interrupting Cow.
2: Interrupting . . .
person 1, playing Interrupting Cow, interrupts: MOO!

Like a Child

Today is a sick day. I've gotten off one drug but have'nt yet increased the other. Yesterday, I heard a good sermon on the radio, I watched another good sermon that I had downloaded, I read part of a great sermon, and I ended the day going to church and watching our pastor preach a sermon via live video feed from the video conference room at church. (The good Mr. M records the sermon on three cameras for the television show.) All those sermons made me examine my life and thoughts and actions. I thought about how I could please God more, and love others better. I felt good yesterday. Today, there is a lot less thinking, and a lot more crying out to God, like a helpless child in need of help. Knowing I am saved only because of God's good grace and not by anything I have done or ever could do, I simply look to Him in faith and ask and plead for wisdom for my doctors and myself, and strength for my body, and the patience needed to wait for the answers. I am glad to be a child of His, and to be able to rest in Him in the full assurance that, regardless of what I can or can't do, I am His and He will take care of me.

Stuck at home

I am stuck at home today. Not only am I voluntarily staying inside because I'm sick, the UPS delivered a heavy package to our door, and propped it against the screen in such a way that I couldn't get out if I wanted to. (I tried.) So if you want to see me, you know where I'll be.

A new day.

I've been pretty down lately, and nothing has changed, my friends still suffer trials, I still suffer, I still long for the Christian's eternal rest, but I'm just tired of being down. I give my burdens daily to God in prayer, and I do what I can for friends and family. I have been taking Rufus for his daily walks in this cool, cold, California winter weather (50 degrees!!!), and I've been enjoying the crunchy yellow leaves, the blue sky, and the wind on my face. This morning was especially enjoyable as I saw my friend playing tennis at the park. I guess I don't really have anything to say; just vote for me and all your wildest dreams will come true. Vote for j. otis. Vote for me.

The most profound of the profound

It has recently occured to me, jenious that I am, that no one who is alive on earth today has experienced death. To whom can we look for comfort when faced with our own mortality and that of our loved ones? Only one man alive has experienced death and is able to comfort us in this. That man is Jesus Christ. He died once and now lives in Heaven. In Him we find comfort in the temporary nature of this short earthly life that will come to an end for us all.