Incapable of Embarrassment

Mr. M wants to put fake grass in our front yard. In order to get approval from the homeowners' assosciation, he will do his best to convince the board that it is the right, environmentally responsible thing to do . . . which it is(I think.) However, true as that may be, Mr. M's real motivation for getting fake grass is that he is tired of the water from the sprinklers getting on his car and leaving spots. So we will get the fake grass. This means I will have to vacuum the yard. Embarrassing for almost anyone. Me? I don't know. A good and long time friend of mine who knows me well said that she "doesn't buy it for a minute" that I will be embarrassed. According to her, I will be laughing at the ridiculousness of the situation too much to be embarrassed. She did, though, offer to come over for moral support when the time for this ridiculous task comes.

In a related story, I asked a friend many years ago if she would give me $5 to come into work wearing a Halloween costume in August. She said no, and when I asked her why, she said it was because she knew I'd do it anyway. She was right. Being known by your friends is definitely rewarding, just not always fiscally responsible.

Free Wedding Planning Services

Since I have done such a stellar job planning my surprise party (inviting 30 guests to a restaurant who's biggest table seats 8), I thought I could be of use to you in planning your big day! My services would come with a few requirements from you, mainly that you be OK if it turns out to be an absolute fiasco. Be a good sport, and just keep telling yourself, "It could've been worse." If I were at all concerned with plans or details, I would be getting really nervous about now, but being who I am, I am looking forward to a hilarious time that will not soon be forgotten. And in that same spirit, I could also make your wedding VERY memorable. Just keep me in mind.

This is my newest idea for a small start-up business venture. What do you think?

My Soul's Delight

It's all about Christ. Christianity IS Christ. Many people want to equate Christianity with controversy over one particular issue or idea or thing, but in truth, Christianity is all about your relationship with Jesus Christ. No controversy can save a soul; that is what Christ does-He saves souls. If you desire godliness, follow Paul's advice to Timothy-"Avoid godless chatter, because those who indulge in it will become more and more ungodly." (2 Tim. 2:16.) Paul also says, in verse 14, that quarreling is of no value and only ruins those who listen.

Making a Statement is Over Rated

The title of this post may incur the wrath of teenagers everywhere. Making a statement is all the rage. All the cool kids do it. What is making a statement? Saying a sentence? I'm not all that impressed. Good for you, being able to say something. Sometimes, though, I don't want to say anything. I don't want my morning cuppa joe to make a statement-I just want a dumb cup of coffee! I don't like the prevailing thought that we all have to make a statement all the time. I just don't want the pressure of having to think through the ramifications of even the most mundane choice I make. And that's my statement for today.

Almost Alone With My Thoughts on Advertizing

I am stuck in my office, dogsitting Rufus while the cable guy is here. We thought the cable guy was done, so we let Rufus back inside, but then the cable guy came back!! Rufus went flying across the room, teeth bared, ready to attack . . . or just sniff. Anyway, the cable guy was scared, so Rufus and I are now stuck in my office. Just as well, since I've had some blog-worthy thoughts today. For reasons out of my control, I found myself watching a daytime talk show, and I'd say it was maybe a half a step above an infomercial. The advertisers have caught on to us, those of us who watch TV and skip the commercials. These advertisers are creative wonders, in a way. The show I watched today had such obvious and obnoxious product placement, that I may as well have been reading a catalogue of advertisements. If I watched that show regularly, I think I would also hang pictures on my wall of the black and white model families. I say if you're going to buy into consumerism, do it all the way!

Funny Ladies

Ah, books. Oh, to be back in the presence of my friends, and to be making new friends. I count on the authors of my books to make me funny and interesting. If the saying is true, and books really are friends, then Jane Lynch is my newest friend. She (actually, the book she wrote) just came in the mail today. I will revisit an old friend, Ellen DeGeneres, in Oct. I've already bought and read two books by her, and she will have a new one out in time for my birthday. (Coincidental, since the receipt from the second book of hers has my date of birth on it, apparently a gift to myself--or just my way of celebrating Henry Winkler's birthday.) I will meet a new friend in November (Nov.1, according to Amazon), Mindy Kaling, who plays Kelly Kapur on The Office. The title of her book, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?, alone makes me laugh. I ask myself that every lonely Friday night that I have-those when Mr. M. is busy playing his box, or to be technical, cajon.

Having Future Plans and Hope

In light of bridesmaids' expenses, I have been watching my spending. The first thing to go was Starbucks. I also started a rigorous (depending on how you define it) walking program in preparation for my friend's big day. I found after a few weeks that I had more energy, and a generally heightened sense of well being, accompanied by a lack of malaise. I rashly attributed this happy happenstance to the avoidance of caffeine. However, upon further reflection, I have come to believe with all my heart that it is the decrease in my spending habits that has contributed so much to my happiness. There is the savings at Starbucks, which is not insignificant. There is also the quite substantial savings I have made by adding to my reading collection (autobiographies of comedians and other funny people on TV) by buying used on Amazon as opposed to paying full retail. It's not (just) that I'm a cheapskate or penny pincher; each time I save, I remember the reason that I am saving, and that is so that I can fully participate in my friend's great day.

My Life Without Books.

I believe the Bible is sufficient for all life and Godliness. I also believe reading other books is interesting, and adds spice to your conversations. Reading is invaluable to stimulate my own thinking, and also for broadening my horizon, contributing greatly to interpersonal relationships. The Apostle Paul was familiar with some of the great poets and philosophers of his day. (Acts 17:28.) It cannot be denied, I think, that there is great benefit in reading literature of all kinds.

The Written Word Leads to Spoken Words

I have been fasting this summer . . . from books. It's been nice. I've had more space in my head and time on my hands to pray and to think. However, I am on pins and needles waiting for my inaugural book from Amazon-the one book worthy of breaking my fast. It is a book about being a bridesmaid, which is what I am (or is it what I WILL BE?) At a party yesterday, I was drawn to a book on the bookshelf about wedding etiquette when I realized to my great dismay how rude it would be to ignore all the other guests and immerse myself in this book. I would liken the feeling to someone who's trying to quit smoking seeing a carton of the finest cigarettes on the shelf and having to do everything to keep himself from grabbing one. But I was good. I restrained myself, and talked to some people (who were all lovely and interesting.) I still wanted to read-even just FEEL-the book, though. So, when no one was conversing with me, I slipped to the shelf, stealthily grabbed the book, and took it back to my seat. I hadn't read more than a few words when someone asked me what I was reading, which I gladly showed them, and then I went on to explain why I was interested in that book, which led to more conversation. The book was now no more than a mere weight on my lap. Soon, my friend left to get food, and I read a few more words, and the owner of the book sat next to me, and we started talking about why she owned the book, which led to talking about her job, which led to talking about her childhood and family and conversion to Christ. My new friend let me take her book home with me, and it has been a splendid diversion as I eagerly await the arrival of my own book.

A Time for Rejoicing

Sunday is commonly known by Christians as the Lord's day since it is the day set apart to worship and praise God and to rejoice in His salvation. As usual, Mr. M. and I, along with thousands of others, did that very thing. We had a 2nd reason to rejoice, and that is because of the upcoming vows our friends will soon make to each other and to God, to love each other deeply and sacrificially, illustrating the way Christ loves His church deeply and sacrificially.