As Rufus and I were taking our morning walk, thoughts were brewing in my head like the rain brews in the clouds before falling to earth. Then, suddenly the rain that was brewing in the clouds began to fall on my head. So Rufus and I decided to run home and let the thoughts that have been brewing in my head fall on my blog so that you can read them.
My thoughts have been centered on engagement and all it entails. I believe saying, "I will" is as much of an important and serious vow as saying, "I do." Why wouldn't it be? Because your'e not saying it in front of friends and family? What about Ananias and Sapphira in Acts 5? No one besides the two of them, and God who knew their hearts, knew of their little scheme to tell a fib. However, their little plan, regardless of how few people knew about it, was so offensive to God that He killed them. Ananias hadn't even carried out his plan when he fell dead. In the eyes of God, planning to do something is equal to doing it. Saying, "I will" is as much of a vow as saying, "I do", and should be approached with the same amount of forethought and fear. Why fear? Because Solomon tells us in Ecclesiastes 5 that it is better not to make a vow before God--and all vows are before our all-seeing and all-knowing God--than to make a vow and fail to fulfill it.
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i have had similarly themed talks with Lisa about this very same subject. i agree with you. i do think there are reasons to call off an engagement, however, i think people too often hold promises like this too lightly.
Sadly, I've had to call off an engagement. Many were hurt in the process, and some even stopped talking to me for a while. But I just knew that it would be absolute misery to be married to someone I wasn't in love with and excited about. It was interesting because in the end we both discovered that we both weren't anticipating being married. To our shame, we didn't give it much thought.
This is an important and sobering promise that we make to selflessly love and serve another who is a lover of God themselves, and should never be taken lightly. I learned a lot from that experience.
I'm looking forward to being a Mrs. soon (Lord-willing), and I pray that I would be even more dependent on God to be the wife God wants me to be. Not for one second do I think I can do this on my own, and the feelings of inadequacy creep in quite frequently. But it has never been about my adequacy has it? My sufficiency is in Christ, and I pray that I'd be quick to do what James 1:5 says, "But if any of your lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given him.
Thank you for your post friend. I know you're praying for me and for that, I am more thankful than words can say.
Wow, sobering thoughts. I know many people that have been hurt in the process from broken engagements and you're right-- it's not a laughing matter. Kurt Gebhards said something really good. He said that we don't "fall in love." Love is not a place that we can go in and out of. Love is a choice. If you promise to love this person (hence the ring on her finger) then you have made a choice! The months of planning a pary inbetween don't change much.
I'm glad it rained, Jen today!
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