A Cactus in A Woman's Body, or My Botanical Counterpart

Reflecting on all my old flames, one particular special friend came to mind . . . the humble cactus plant. From even my youngest youth, I've always kept three or four small cacti in the windowsill. Meditating on this fact, and noticing how few children I know that keep cacti in their room, I pondered just what it is about the hardy cactus that has always drawn me. I now believe that I am part cactus. I believe it all began with my grandpa calling me "Juniper" from my infancy on. I have come more and more to notice how very defensive I am, always making sure that my right arm is unencumbered and free to give anyone a good right hook at any time . . . just like a cactus. I am also not so dainty or frilly as any tended flower. I am as God made me.
Several cacti have come and gone in my life and in my yard. I have had small cactus plants with bright red "hats", I have had (and still have) a small cactus in a cookie jar that has yellow "cotton balls", and I have one favorite cactus in my front yard, the only cactus I have named. Stumpy is a very unique cactus, more of a vertical green blob than anything else. Stumpy has no flowers, no thorns. He resembles a lump of inanimate clay.
Maybe it has to do with being a native Californian. Maybe it has to do with a love for Mexico and all things deserty. Maybe it has to do with being called Juniper. I just love cacti. I love the desert. It is in my blood . . . quite literally after having accidentally fallen on a thorny cactus. I like the utilitarian plants, hardy and thriving through frosts and unrelenting sun, weathering all of life's storms and coming out on top, a fine example of how I want to live my life.
I have been reading The punctured Thumb, a book all about cacti and succulents, and what your life will be like if you have an uncanny love for them. Today I went to a local nursery and bought (I couldn't help it--a small cactus), and a book on Southwestern gardening. Very fun. I plan to learn all the things about soil and climate that I didn't pay attention to in high school. It wasn't my high school teachers that tried to teach me about soil and climate; it was my mom. It all makes perfect sense why I love the desert scene with rocky land and hardy plants . . . my mom loved that scene, too. That very scene dominated the area where I grew up, and we drove through that desert land daily. If I hadn't been so busy listening to The Cure and Tears For Fears in high school, I wouldn't be having to read these books. But I am glad I have to read those books, and to learn something new. It is a good opportunity for me to practice disciplining my mind, and getting to know the facts about the land I live on.
I said I bought a book about gardening in the southwest. It is a Sunset book, THE name in gardening. I felt before like I had no right to speak of having a garden, like I was an imposter, a fake, a con-man, when I didn't even OWN a Sunset book. Now that I have the book, I have the POTENTIAL. I still don't have a garden, but I have the potential for a garden, and that's what really matters.