Gardening and Giving by Rufus

Mrs. M. and I have been stuck in the house for the past few days while the back yard is being made beautiful by skilled workmen. She's been taking me on long walks in the mornings to poop me out; meaning both to make me tired, and also to allow me to empty my bowels. Having no one else to talk to, my mistress confides in me and tells me stories . . . like the story from 1 Chronicles 21 where King David wants to buy a field to give as an offering to the Lord. He talks with the landowner, Araunah, who offers to give him the land, but David says to him, "No, I insist on paying the full price. I will not take for the Lord what is yours, or sacrifice a burnt offering that costs me nothing." My mistress goes on to tell me how often this verse has influenced her giving and how she feels she hasn't really given anything to someone unless it costs her something. If she's going to give someone money, she feels that she should give up something (expensive coffee drinks or new books), so that she is making a sacrifice.
Mrs. M. is already planning several patio-warming parties to justify the luxury of a nice patio. What's the point of a nice patio if you don't have nice people to share it with?