This is a phrase I heard many times growing up, and it is a phrase I've said myself many times. After parties, my mom would habitually leave the dishes for the next day. She was going to be a guest at her own party, (the best kind of host in my opinion), and she was going to have fun and laugh and play games. This was far from lost on me. Not out of laziness, but out of a desire to be a fun hostess hosting a fun party, I have always left the dishes for the next day. I'm always a guest at my own parties, why shouldn't I be?
The simple phrase my mom said so often shows me so much of her character and her priorities. She wanted her guests to have a really good time, not feeling at all guilty or uncomfortable because of the dirty dishes. My mom was not lazy in this, it was very intentional. We all know what it's like to go to a party where the hosts clean up the second something is out of place. That will not be a fun party. You might not even want to go back to that house. (No matter how big their TV screen is!) My mom wanted her guests to feel at home, and she wanted to spend time with them. That's why she invited them, right? She didn't invite them just to show off her mad cooking skills or her cute-as-a-button daughter, she invited her friends to spend time with them. That is why I throw parties. I like to laugh and spend time with my friends. The dishes can wait.
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So can I be the host at your party?
I needed to read this.
...and sometimes the hostess's hubby helps with the clean-up later.
Thanks for that, Jen. I can learn from you...I tend to be the one who cleans up right away. I need to learn to relax. ;)
Even though we don't throw parties these days, Garry often says, "The dishes can wait" so I don't get phobic about them.
I agree whole heartedly! It's more important to spend time with the guest..
I am ashamed to admit that I've never seen things quite that way, and I am so thankful that you wrote this! I grew up in a house that was so clean that people called it "the museum" - and I was the one responsible for keeping it that way. We didn't entertain often since my mom was sick, but when we did things were always cleaned up right away (mostly by me). After my mom passed away, when my dad and step-mom would have Thanksgiving or get-togethers at their home, my dad was notoriously busy cooking and preparing, and then cleaning up, so he didn't spend much time with anybody and that was always sad. I tried to kick him out of his own kitchen, but that didn't work.
Anyway, that's what I was surrounded by throughout my life, and trying to just let that go has been very hard (and having four kids who are *not* neat freaks has forced me to have to relax in general). I am thankful for a godly husband who is more like you and your mom - it has rubbed off on me, slowly. I still have so much to work on, and I am so thankful for the wise perspective of you and your mom, which has helped me to think more correctly in this. Thank you for posting this!
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