My Sporting Life

To say the least, I never excelled at sports. In fact, I wanted to include a picture of myself participating in a sporting event, but none exist . . . no, I take that back. There is a picture of me from my 1st day of T-ball, that 1st day when I excitedly ran to the field . . . with my glove on backwards and on the wrong hand. That was also the day I caught a ball between my legs. I may not have been a quick thinker, but I had good reflexes! So softball was my sport, obviously. I played on the girls' team in jr. high. (I only made the team because it was a small school, and there weren't enough girls to turn anyone away.) Life went on, and I did what I had to, including P.E. Class. The time came for us to run. I hated running. I could read circles around anyone, but running was a different story. I had learned early on that I could get myself out of a lot of trouble by making my teachers, schoolmates, parents, laugh. It is the simple trick of misdirection. You make 'em laugh, and they forget why they were mad at you. My greatest use of this technique was when I got in a small fender-bender . . . but that's another day's story. I got away with-and out of-a lot . . . including running. We were working on the relay race in P.E. I was the 1st runner. I ran and ran around the track, as far as I could, (maybe an 8th of a mile), and when I could run no more, I threw the baton, a mighty throw, to the 2nd runner, who was waiting about 15 feet ahead of me. She caught the baton and finished her leg of the race flawlessly. I got an F in P.E. that day, but I got an A for humorous misdirection and trouble avoidance. My classmates were too bewildered and amused by my action to be angry with me. Like Tim Conway says in What's so Funny?, "I was born to enjoy life, and I've always wanted everyone to enjoy it with me."