Rufus on walking with Mrs. M.

Mrs. M. has been taking me out each morning, before the Los Angeles desert sun brings the temperature over 90. We walk a mile, then we both replenish our electolyte-depleted bodies with water, and then I sleep while she does . . . who knows. I wake up to play with Mr. M. near evening, and then, later on in the cool of the desert evening, Mrs. M. will often take me for another walk. Like all healthy, red-blooded dogs, I absolutely love to walk, but lately something has come over my girl. She just wants to walk and walk, not even allowing me to smell the other dogs' pee, or stop to eat grass. In fact, she acts almost frustrated when I have to poop! I mean, I'm a DOG--that's what we DO!! Then, acting almost hypocritically, she stops everything to scoop my poop into a little baggy, and as I try to get on with our walk as soon as I'm done with my business, she says to me as she bags the evidence, "You did the crime and now you gotta do the time." Talk about mixed signals! Sometimes I just wonder what's going on in her head. She was in such a hurry to get out and go for our walk this morning, that she clumsily gashed her big toe on the bottom of the door. Blood was squirting up and over, not only our house, but the neighbor's house, too. (I'm exaggerating, of course. It was only squirting over our house.) Because of her hurry to get out, she had to go back in and tape herself up. Well, she just stepped out for a smoothie. She'll be hobbling home any minute, so I must bid you farewell, have a good day, and adieu.