Tuesday, November 04, 2014

Blueberry Bagel with Butter

I was reading about bagels today, so naturally I got hungry for a bagel.  (I don't know how much weight I've gained reading Jim Gaffigan's book about food.  It's a good thing I'm done, though.)  I think we can all agree that it is the epitome of frustrating when someone who's been waiting in a food line for some minutes gets up to the counter and has no clue as to what he or she may want to eat.  In my attempt to prepare to make a prompt order, I rehearsed my order in my head.  "Blueberry bagel with butter . . . bluebutter bagel with berry . . . bagelberry blue with butter . . .berrybagel butter with blue."  It was pretty darn amusing there in line.  Anyway, after I ate my bagelberry blue with butter, I rolled myself over to a seat in the sun to digest.  As I did, I ruminated on Halloween.  I know there is probably some kind of history behind Halloween, but since I have no idea what it is, I just make up my own.  In my version of the history of Halloween, I picture the Board of Holiday Makers in a meeting.  The purpose of the meeting is to give October a holiday.  It is just too normal.  The first suggestion is a feast.  The director promptly shoots down that idea, saying, "No, that is way too normal, and besides, November and December have big feasts.  We don't want to steal their thunder.  We need something different, I mean really weird, for October."  "Well", a board member offers, "how about we forget about the appetizers and the meal, and just have dessert?"  "That's a good start, but let's keep brainstorming to make this thing even weirder."  Another board member adds, "Instead of one dessert at one house, let's have many desserts at many houses!"  Someone else adds, "And we'll take the desserts to go, so we don't have to talk to the people who are giving us dessert."  The director speaks again, and says, "To top it off, we'll all wear a costume to hide our identities!"  And that's how Halloween happened.

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