Life According to The MUD

So I've thought for all my life that my name is Renee. Everyone calls me Renee, and I'm pretty sure that's what my nametag says. (I can't really see it.) But then, Mrs. M's sister came over the other day and said to me " Renee," (RENEE!) "your name is Mud." WHAT??? I don't get it, but since Mrs. M writes under a pseudonym (The White Wave), so will I. I will own this Mud business. I will call myself The MUD, and since I have learned to love words and puns and plays on words, etc. since living here, I will make MUD stand for Most Unpredictable Dog. Another weird thing: on her birthday, I went out with Mrs. M and a few of her closest friends, and everyone started shouting, "Speech, speech!" Mrs. M held up her fancy mocha and said, "Here's to mud in your eye!" What was that all about? What do I have to do with her eye?! I bite her fingers, so that would have made sense; but her eye?? I just don't get it. This is a very confusing world. It must be hard to be a human.