Things People Say to my Dog

The rhetorical question: Who's a good boy? Who's the cutest puppy in the world?
My dog's silent response: I know, it's me.

The flirtatious comment: I like your little sweater. Where did you get it?
Rufus says, "First of all, I think it's a little feminine, and second, I got it at either J.Crew or Petco. I'm not sure."

The awkward compliment: You're so cute I could just eat you up.
Rufus: Or you could just pet me like a normal person.

Lastly, the person who wants to make dog noises at my dog: Grrrr, Woof. Woof. Arf, grrr, bow-wow.
Rufus says, "Now you're just talking jibberish. That didn't even make sense. You just said,'Burglar sandwich very much no walk please.'"




Inspired by storyteller, Doogie Horner, featured in Spirit magazine, Oct., 2011