Another 38 Special

In her book, I'm Too Young to be This Old!, Patricia Smith speaks of mid-life as second life and a new stage in life and being grown up. She asks her readers to ponder the question, "Who am I now that I'm grown up?" Since I have redefined mid-life as 38 (which I think is more realistic as I don't expect to live to 100), I have been pondering her question. So far, I have pondered in 2 major areas: 1. Mr.M and 2. friends.

1. Mr. M. 18 years. It's been a long time, and that is a good thing. Love has morphed into so much more: admiration, respect, understanding and trust. I admire Mr. M a lot. He is very good at what he does, and he has an amazing work ethic. He is always willing to help and serve in the areas where his expertise is needed. I respect him. I respect the decisions he makes, and the boundaries he's set for himself and for the both of us. I understand him. I know him intimately, as he knows me. I know why he does what he does. It is both comforting and entertaining. Two different people who set about the same task in two very different ways makes for much hilarity. I trust Mr. M. He has always taken care of me. I can count on him to always be there, and to help in any way he can.

2. Friends. I can't even put into words how crummy it feels when you can tell that someone views you as an inconvenient intrusion on their lives. I have been making more of an effort to notice when people spend time with me because they want to, and when they spend time with me because they feel obligated. Of course, I can only assume others feel this same way, so I don't force myself to spend time with people who are repulsive to me. I realize that we as Christians are to greet all others and not just those who greet us, but greeting someone is a far cry from going out to coffee with someone. The good thing is that usually anyone you don't want to be with doesn't want to be with you.

I may do more pondering, and if I come up with anything good, I'll let you know.