Thursday, March 26, 2015

Honesty in Friendships

I am currently reading Relationships: A Mess Worth Making by Tripp and Lane. (I've given up trying to match their first names with their last.) My reading brought a vivid memory to mind. It was a very honest, tear and prayer-filled conversation I had with a friend who I will refer to as a prairie dog. I even remember the exact date-Thursday, Feb.21, 2013. I remember the date because I drove to the desert that night and wrote a post about it. The story begins with a picture that hangs on my wall. This is a picture of a friend of mine, who is also a good friend of the prairie dog. Naturally, the prairie dog would assume I am good friends with the girl whose picture is on my wall. What the prairie dog couldn't have known is that the girl in the picture doesn't talk to me. (I don't know why.) Anyhow, after imagining in my head the horrible awkwardness and confusion that would happen if the prairie dog were to invite me and the girl in the picture out to dinner (which seemed inevitable), I confessed to the prairie dog, through many tears, that the girl in the picture doesn't talk to me, and that I, trying to prove to the prairie dog that I was friendly and sociable and not dramatic or high maintenance, was going out of my way to make sure that she saw me being friendly and sociable and easy-going with other friends at church. I cried and cried as I confessed that, as it seemed so sneaky and manipulative and so . . . not how I want to act. I wanted to be true and honest, and I felt like I was lying to my prairie dog friend, and no good friendship can be built on a lie. I remember that time of honesty being so good for my soul, and a good start to a great friendship. Misunderstandings and lies only get bigger and uglier with time, so nip them in the bud before they get out of hand. Hopefully, your friends will be as kind, compassionate and forgiving as my prairie dog.

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